Sharing My Soul

Sharing My Soul
I had a great connection with many new friends at Mana contemporary open studio.
I shared my life stories and some people were very surprised that I couldI be so honest about myself. I said, I have to admit, this is a very difficult thing , not easy at all. I have been through the darkest time in my life this year.While I was in the middle of a painting, I faced all of the darkest and most beautiful parts of myself . I almost lost my mind ,I walked on the edge of death. But I conquered my fears and succeeded. I read the story of my soul, , that is also why I can share all of me . I no longer have anything to hide.
在Mana現代藝術館開放我工作室時,我和好多朋友有非常深層的連結
我分享了我人生的故事。有人會很驚訝為何我能過如此誠實的看待自己? 我說,我必須承認這真的是件非常非常非常不容易的一件事。因為我今年經歷我一生最低潮的時刻,我在作畫的過程面對了我所有過去最黑暗也最美麗的自己。我差點承受不了失去理智。我經歷了死亡的邊緣。但我戰勝了、超越了,因此我閱讀了真正的自己,也才能在這裡袒露所有的我。毫無保留
Being an artist I always felt I had to be very pure. I felt I needed to be like a goddess in a way. Why? Because that is how society think artists should be . Either very saintly , or very crazy , Wild , alcoholic or many lovers....
身為一個藝術家、我一直抱著必須要很神聖、必須要表現的像仙女一樣才能稱為藝術家呀。為什麼會有這樣的想法?因為社會對於藝術家的刻板和傳統印象,藝術家要不像聖人一樣,要不然就是要非常瘋狂、野蠻、愛喝酒或很多愛人....而以致於當我面對真實的自我自己時,好長的一段時間我感到必須隱藏其他部分的自己。
Then I realized , yes I was lost before, I hurt others and myself. These parts of me look dirty but they are all part of me. The kind and pure part of me are also me. I have desire, and yes I am also content. The world is not just black and white . There is no real angels and demons.These are two sides of the same coin.All the things we thought “negative “- fear,jealousy...all lead us to the place where we want to be.
但我才發現,我曾經迷失過,我也曾經墮落過、我曾經傷害過他人和自我。但這所有看似骯髒的我也是我。而那善良純潔的我也是我。有慾望的我,喜愛世界的我。全部都是我。這世界沒有真正的非黑即白。沒有真正的天使和惡魔。因為看似負面的恐懼、嫉妒...都是帶領我們成為真正想要成為的自己。帶領我們朝向愛與希望。所以這世界沒有善與惡。而是兩面存在同一個硬幣。
We are all born to suffer, but we need to find the beauty in the suffering .All of my art , no matter what form it is, Is all based on the same philosophy.
人生來就是苦的。但我們要從苦中找到美麗,這是不管我的畫從以前的現在不論什麼形式,但同一個道理。
I was so surprised that most people could really understand my story. I couldn’t believe that two little girls they could understand as well...Many new friends were moved and

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"The Diary of a Chat Girl"- How it all started? 「直播女孩日記」-說說故事的起源

  In the first six months of 2018, Orange Li has endeavored to explore firsthand a unique social and technological trend that has overtaken International Culture worldwide.  She became a “chat host” on one of the biggest online platforms in Taiwan.
  2018年前六個月的時間,在網路科技全球化的驅動下,在美國紐約生活的藝術家黎橘因緣際會下成為了台灣區前幾大的某直播平台的主播。也因此開啟了她從網路世界去反思真實世界人性的體驗。
  These online platforms feature hosts- who do everything necessary to entertain the thousands of clients who watch them live..  this can include singing, painting, telling stories jokes, or general entertainment. Some just act sexy as they speak directly to a massive live audience. Nudity and sexual content aren’t allowed on most sites.  If viewers enjoy what the host is doing they can give “gifts” that the host will be able to cash out into actual money. These gifts can be anywhere from $1 all the way up to $1000. Hosts have been able to support themselves working as chat girls full time off their personality and looks.  This has turned into a major industry, particularly in Asia where top hosts can make an average of 1- 5 million USD/ year. The top host can earn as much as 50 million USD/year.
  這些網路直播平台會有許多不同特色的主播,基本上就是要在現場直播和上千名的粉絲互動。表演包含了,唱歌、變魔術、畫畫、說說笑話,或著就是純聊天娛樂大家。當然也有些主播會是已性感的方式說話直接取悅觀賞的聽眾。但這些平台並非色情網站,他們反而是禁止裸露和情色內容的。
然而如果觀眾喜歡主播的表演,他們可以用禮物打賞,而主播可以直接得到實際的金錢資助。禮物有不同的等級從10幾元台幣到3萬元台幣都有。甚至許多主播是依靠不論是他們的長相或是才華在這個新興的網路工作裡維生。
直播平台在亞洲成為非常龐大的事業體,像一些亞洲區前幾名的主播一年可以賺一百到五百萬美金。最頂尖的甚至所有收入加總將近一年五千萬美金。

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 This experience of being a host for six months has been a rollercoaster of emotion for Orange. She has gained fame, and through her fans she has found buyers for her art and received large financial gifts. She became one of the top ten broadcasters in Taiwan and her photo was turned into a billboard advertisement in downtown Taipei. 

而經過六個月的直播經驗,黎橘的精神狀態像是坐雲霄飛車一樣的起伏。她得到了一些名氣,而粉絲也有許多人收藏他的藝術作品,甚至得到了許多的網路禮物打賞。她甚至成為了台灣該平台的前十大主播,該公司將她的照片印在台灣台北信義區的大型廣告柱上。


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Later she began to feel lost and confused as she felt she had transformed into a different person to please her fans. She was also subjected to harassment. Stalkers online would hide behind their anonymity and make sexual advances, offering money for sex, making racist comments, and attacking her looks.  As she became more depressed from the experience of feeling like a trained monkey performing for treats, she came to the realization that this was not the way she wanted to live.

而後他開始感到迷惘,因為她感覺到它轉變成一個不一樣的形象只為了取悅粉絲。她收到了不具名網路粉絲的性騷擾語言、也有人傳訊息想要實行性交易、也收到許多種族歧視的語言攻擊,並被批評她的長相。當她意識到她就好像變成了馬戲團裡面的猴子,也越來越對這些過程感到失落和沮喪,最後她意識到她不能再這樣繼續下去了。

So she changed her chat shows to focus on who she really was.  She began painting, reading, and even organizing her art studio while talking to her fans. Then her scores dropped and she lost fans, but the ones that stayed became the ones that really appreciated Orange’s art and have continued to support her on her path as an artist.

而後他改變了他直播的呈現方式,她想要呈現更真實的自己。她開始更注重畫畫、閱讀,甚至有時就是跟粉絲聊心事並整理她的藝術工作室。當然他的直播成績一落千丈,並失去了許多粉絲,但那些願意留下來的成為了真心欣賞黎橘畫作而且一直持續支持她藝術家之路的朋友們。

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Nearing the end of her online chat show, she came up with the idea of using her emotional and psychological experiences as subjects for turning sadness into something beautiful, so she began rowing the boat on a canvas ride through Hell which led her to a deeper understanding that there really is no Hell, because we are already living in a Utopia, where an imperfect world is the perfect world,
  接近她直播節目尾聲時,她開始將她所有的感受和經歷放在油畫布上,他將那些悲傷的過程轉化成美麗的作品,也理解到當時的悲傷原來是帶領她完成這些美麗作品的必要過程。而因為他也在人生中經歷了以為的地獄,才深深的體會到原來這世界上沒有所謂的地獄,因為這不完美的世界就是完美的世界。

而我們已經生活在烏托邦裡了

 "Diary of a Chat Girl"
Orange Li's Solo art show
Opening 10/12 Friday 6-9pm
3F, 203 Harrison Pl., Brooklyn.NY 11237
I can't wait to see you!!!!
CLick-->link to sign up the opening
Let me know what you feel about this story, Please? :)

Orange Li
 Instagram: Li.orange          
Website: www.orangeliart.com