Sharing My Soul

Sharing My Soul
I had a great connection with many new friends at Mana contemporary open studio.
I shared my life stories and some people were very surprised that I couldI be so honest about myself. I said, I have to admit, this is a very difficult thing , not easy at all. I have been through the darkest time in my life this year.While I was in the middle of a painting, I faced all of the darkest and most beautiful parts of myself . I almost lost my mind ,I walked on the edge of death. But I conquered my fears and succeeded. I read the story of my soul, , that is also why I can share all of me . I no longer have anything to hide.
在Mana現代藝術館開放我工作室時,我和好多朋友有非常深層的連結
我分享了我人生的故事。有人會很驚訝為何我能過如此誠實的看待自己? 我說,我必須承認這真的是件非常非常非常不容易的一件事。因為我今年經歷我一生最低潮的時刻,我在作畫的過程面對了我所有過去最黑暗也最美麗的自己。我差點承受不了失去理智。我經歷了死亡的邊緣。但我戰勝了、超越了,因此我閱讀了真正的自己,也才能在這裡袒露所有的我。毫無保留
Being an artist I always felt I had to be very pure. I felt I needed to be like a goddess in a way. Why? Because that is how society think artists should be . Either very saintly , or very crazy , Wild , alcoholic or many lovers....
身為一個藝術家、我一直抱著必須要很神聖、必須要表現的像仙女一樣才能稱為藝術家呀。為什麼會有這樣的想法?因為社會對於藝術家的刻板和傳統印象,藝術家要不像聖人一樣,要不然就是要非常瘋狂、野蠻、愛喝酒或很多愛人....而以致於當我面對真實的自我自己時,好長的一段時間我感到必須隱藏其他部分的自己。
Then I realized , yes I was lost before, I hurt others and myself. These parts of me look dirty but they are all part of me. The kind and pure part of me are also me. I have desire, and yes I am also content. The world is not just black and white . There is no real angels and demons.These are two sides of the same coin.All the things we thought “negative “- fear,jealousy...all lead us to the place where we want to be.
但我才發現,我曾經迷失過,我也曾經墮落過、我曾經傷害過他人和自我。但這所有看似骯髒的我也是我。而那善良純潔的我也是我。有慾望的我,喜愛世界的我。全部都是我。這世界沒有真正的非黑即白。沒有真正的天使和惡魔。因為看似負面的恐懼、嫉妒...都是帶領我們成為真正想要成為的自己。帶領我們朝向愛與希望。所以這世界沒有善與惡。而是兩面存在同一個硬幣。
We are all born to suffer, but we need to find the beauty in the suffering .All of my art , no matter what form it is, Is all based on the same philosophy.
人生來就是苦的。但我們要從苦中找到美麗,這是不管我的畫從以前的現在不論什麼形式,但同一個道理。
I was so surprised that most people could really understand my story. I couldn’t believe that two little girls they could understand as well...Many new friends were moved and

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"The Diary of a Chat Girl"- How it all started? 「直播女孩日記」-說說故事的起源

  In the first six months of 2018, Orange Li has endeavored to explore firsthand a unique social and technological trend that has overtaken International Culture worldwide.  She became a “chat host” on one of the biggest online platforms in Taiwan.
  2018年前六個月的時間,在網路科技全球化的驅動下,在美國紐約生活的藝術家黎橘因緣際會下成為了台灣區前幾大的某直播平台的主播。也因此開啟了她從網路世界去反思真實世界人性的體驗。
  These online platforms feature hosts- who do everything necessary to entertain the thousands of clients who watch them live..  this can include singing, painting, telling stories jokes, or general entertainment. Some just act sexy as they speak directly to a massive live audience. Nudity and sexual content aren’t allowed on most sites.  If viewers enjoy what the host is doing they can give “gifts” that the host will be able to cash out into actual money. These gifts can be anywhere from $1 all the way up to $1000. Hosts have been able to support themselves working as chat girls full time off their personality and looks.  This has turned into a major industry, particularly in Asia where top hosts can make an average of 1- 5 million USD/ year. The top host can earn as much as 50 million USD/year.
  這些網路直播平台會有許多不同特色的主播,基本上就是要在現場直播和上千名的粉絲互動。表演包含了,唱歌、變魔術、畫畫、說說笑話,或著就是純聊天娛樂大家。當然也有些主播會是已性感的方式說話直接取悅觀賞的聽眾。但這些平台並非色情網站,他們反而是禁止裸露和情色內容的。
然而如果觀眾喜歡主播的表演,他們可以用禮物打賞,而主播可以直接得到實際的金錢資助。禮物有不同的等級從10幾元台幣到3萬元台幣都有。甚至許多主播是依靠不論是他們的長相或是才華在這個新興的網路工作裡維生。
直播平台在亞洲成為非常龐大的事業體,像一些亞洲區前幾名的主播一年可以賺一百到五百萬美金。最頂尖的甚至所有收入加總將近一年五千萬美金。

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 This experience of being a host for six months has been a rollercoaster of emotion for Orange. She has gained fame, and through her fans she has found buyers for her art and received large financial gifts. She became one of the top ten broadcasters in Taiwan and her photo was turned into a billboard advertisement in downtown Taipei. 

而經過六個月的直播經驗,黎橘的精神狀態像是坐雲霄飛車一樣的起伏。她得到了一些名氣,而粉絲也有許多人收藏他的藝術作品,甚至得到了許多的網路禮物打賞。她甚至成為了台灣該平台的前十大主播,該公司將她的照片印在台灣台北信義區的大型廣告柱上。


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Later she began to feel lost and confused as she felt she had transformed into a different person to please her fans. She was also subjected to harassment. Stalkers online would hide behind their anonymity and make sexual advances, offering money for sex, making racist comments, and attacking her looks.  As she became more depressed from the experience of feeling like a trained monkey performing for treats, she came to the realization that this was not the way she wanted to live.

而後他開始感到迷惘,因為她感覺到它轉變成一個不一樣的形象只為了取悅粉絲。她收到了不具名網路粉絲的性騷擾語言、也有人傳訊息想要實行性交易、也收到許多種族歧視的語言攻擊,並被批評她的長相。當她意識到她就好像變成了馬戲團裡面的猴子,也越來越對這些過程感到失落和沮喪,最後她意識到她不能再這樣繼續下去了。

So she changed her chat shows to focus on who she really was.  She began painting, reading, and even organizing her art studio while talking to her fans. Then her scores dropped and she lost fans, but the ones that stayed became the ones that really appreciated Orange’s art and have continued to support her on her path as an artist.

而後他改變了他直播的呈現方式,她想要呈現更真實的自己。她開始更注重畫畫、閱讀,甚至有時就是跟粉絲聊心事並整理她的藝術工作室。當然他的直播成績一落千丈,並失去了許多粉絲,但那些願意留下來的成為了真心欣賞黎橘畫作而且一直持續支持她藝術家之路的朋友們。

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Nearing the end of her online chat show, she came up with the idea of using her emotional and psychological experiences as subjects for turning sadness into something beautiful, so she began rowing the boat on a canvas ride through Hell which led her to a deeper understanding that there really is no Hell, because we are already living in a Utopia, where an imperfect world is the perfect world,
  接近她直播節目尾聲時,她開始將她所有的感受和經歷放在油畫布上,他將那些悲傷的過程轉化成美麗的作品,也理解到當時的悲傷原來是帶領她完成這些美麗作品的必要過程。而因為他也在人生中經歷了以為的地獄,才深深的體會到原來這世界上沒有所謂的地獄,因為這不完美的世界就是完美的世界。

而我們已經生活在烏托邦裡了

 "Diary of a Chat Girl"
Orange Li's Solo art show
Opening 10/12 Friday 6-9pm
3F, 203 Harrison Pl., Brooklyn.NY 11237
I can't wait to see you!!!!
CLick-->link to sign up the opening
Let me know what you feel about this story, Please? :)

Orange Li
 Instagram: Li.orange          
Website: www.orangeliart.com

God Money -art of Orange Li

(God Money or Ghost Money) is a currency that was created for the Gods or Ghosts that live in another world. The paper money that has gold leaf is for God and you can burn it and then pray for something  you want in your life: Peace, Wealth...etc. 
紙錢是一種由人們創造出來悼念祖先或神明的貨幣,而這一個系列有金箔的紙錢則是燒給神明的貨幣。讓神明有金錢享用,但同時你可以祈求自己的願望:平安、財富...等等。 

在我的記憶中以來,燒紙錢祭拜過世的祖先、鬼神是一個非常神聖的儀式。
小時候逢年過節都要燒紙錢祈求全家平平安安,長大後做生意也要燒給財神爺祈求富貴。
When I was a kid , the memory of burning  God Money or Ghost Money was a very sacred thing.
They burned it  at every festival and during New Years; They even burned it for their own business to pray for more wealth.

因為在台灣的環境家家戶戶幾乎有這樣的習俗,從小的記憶下,那種看著火焰慢慢把紙張燒成灰燼的過程是很美麗的,用火將人間的訊息轉換並傳遞給鬼神。在這樣的一個記憶下,我創作紙錢藝術的過程也使在異鄉的我找到某種心靈上的平靜。一種像是在作品中一遍遍的祈求著幸福、一遍遍訴說著我的故事。像是從作品中訴說我的人生並傳遞到另一個世界,另一個空間。
(延伸閱讀: 旅居紐約藝術家黎慶怡 Orange LI 創作出世界最大的金紙和靈感(未完成文章)) 
Almost every family in Taiwan  followed this tradition. From my childhood till now, I always really enjoyed the process of burning this magical paper into ashes. It is such a peaceful and beautiful experience.  The fire transforms the message and delivers it to the Gods. Based on these memories I grew up with , I created this paper money art to help me  find a way to ease my pain and find a way to release my emotions. I find peace in it. it is a way for me to tell myself that I can pray for  happiness, and to remind me that he life I live in, and then to create my story in it. I tell my stories again and again in my art , burn it from my brush to transform to another world and another space.

這次三張大張的複合媒材藝術作品,我是使用油畫布貼上從台灣金紙工廠訂製的金箔,並使用壓克力、塑膠玩具、噴漆以及針線做了這件作品。我切割了布面,我是用剪刀先刺穿油畫布後再剪開,不規則的紋路像是人生中的傷疤,一次次心痛的時刻,在用力刺穿布面的過程也是我對於作品的一種激情,帶有愛以及恨,而我們在如此傷痕累累的狀態中還是如此的堅強,並擁有獨一無二的美麗。
當割開畫布後面的燈光、窗外風景、牆面也都會成為作品的一部分,值得一提的是當變換的燈光閃耀在畫布的線,如同時時刻刻變幻的人生,碎裂不堪卻繽紛閃耀。
(延伸連結:在2017紐約長島市Paper Factory Hotel x House of Yes 合作藝術展的影片)
These three big art works are mixed media on canvas, I ordered the traditional gold leaf from Taiwan factory that made real God Money. I used acrylic paints, plastic toys , spray paint and sewing needles to work on it. I cut the canvas with scissors, the irregular pattern just like the scars in our life, every moment our heart breaks, the difficult times or the pain we have go through. First I poked a hole in the canvas then cut it open.  The process to create this work, filled with my passion mixed with love and hate. We are covered in wounds but we still stand proudly and strong, We have that one of a kind beauty.
Through the holes in the canvas, you can see the lights, landscape, and walls behind which become part of the art work. 
In the 2017 art show at the Paper Factory Hotel in Long Island City, New York , the changing color lights behind the art work brought the meaning to life. like our lives, we are always changing, sometimes we feel like things are falling apart but we still dance and still shine in this life party
(The Video of 2017 art show at Paper Factory Hotel x House of Yes )

下圖為影片中藝術展的Paper Factory Hotel飯店空間: The pictures below is from the art show in the Paper factory Hotel. 

 

1. God Money- Madness of Love 瘋狂的愛 
 mixed media on canvas  97" x 72"
"The madness of love is the greatest of heaven's blessings."-Plato
"I have loved to the point of madness: that which is called madness, that which to me, is the only sensible way to love. "-Francoise Sagan

可以用滑鼠點下面圖像看其他細作品細節: You can click the pictures below to view other details:

瘋狂的愛,一種瘋狂的迷戀。
這張作品完全體現我在美國紐約的心情,以及環境對我的衝擊,雜亂的、不平衡的、扭曲的、奢華的、爆炸性的、卻也讓你覺得刺激、新鮮,週遭充滿了生氣!心浮氣躁和複雜也是可以是一種美。
"Madness of Love", a love filled with passion.
This art work shows how I feel about New York. The environment surrounding me is messy, twisted, uneven, luxurious , and explosive. It also makes me excited, fresh and full of energy. The emotionally unstable , agitated and complicated can be another kind of beauty. 
我在這神明金紙藝術作品上有著散發如火一般的邊框,是用畫去代替燃燒,散發著源源不絕的能量並傳遞到另一個未知想像的空間,也許是代表著我那方新靈魂吧。破碎的、坑洞的畫布仍然撐起整張畫面。如同人生、如同愛。 不規則的線條是描著金箔上的皺褶,因為這些自然產生的皺褶代表著我們的人生經歷,起起落落。顏色有喜悅的黃、純潔的白、也有憂鬱的藍和綠、熱情的紅...用黑色用力地描繪這個刻骨銘心的色彩。 經歷愛、痛、婚宴、性愛和夢想.....交織纏綿成這張瘋狂的愛。沒有要刻意去簡化、沒有要去尋找平靜,只是瘋狂的燃燒自己,瘋狂的投入那已經讓人無法呼吸的愛,讓自己投入那會讓自己遍體麟傷的愛,讓自己被這一切重重地掩埋。
I made this "God Money" with a border of flames because that is how this "God Money" is used, by burning it.. This glowing energy will spread and transform the stories and feelings to another unknown world. Maybe it means sending it to the other side of to visit my new soul. The tattered , broken canvas still holdsit together. like our life, like our love. I trace down the irregular nature that wrinkles the gold leaf, there I painted on these slight lines to present our up and sown lives. The color of yellow with joy, white with pure, blue and green with sadness, the red with passion and anger...I used the black lines to paint the outline of the unforgettable moment. To live, to experience the love, pain, marriage, sex and dreams...all of these are intertwined , lingering within  the art -"Madness of Love".
I don't want to simplify it, I don't want to find peace in it, just burn it and burn yourself like crazy. Embracing the breathless nature of love, by throwing myself into the love, I might cut myself all over my body, and get buried into the ground.

2.God Money- Madness of Money 瘋狂的金錢
Mixed media on canvas 105" X 64"

可以用滑鼠點下面圖像看其他細作品細節: You can click the pictures below to view other details

人們對於瘋狂追逐著金錢、權力的追逐時時刻刻上演在都市叢林的社會。
This is about people becoming obsessed with money and power. This is a drama that happens everywhere in our jungle society.

第五大道上金光閃閃的奢侈品牌、開車跑車帶名錶的男人、拿著愛馬仕包包當武器的女人。這個城市充滿了塞滿了所有的慾望,連在這呼吸都充滿了奢華。
The shining luxury brand everywhere in the Fifth Ave, men drove sport car and wear prestigious watches, Hermes bags and Chanel clothes are these women's weapons. The city is stuffed with objects of desire. Even when you breathe, you breathe in the sumptuous desire.

畫面中的品牌圍繞著金色的核心,兩側畫有白色的龍鱗線條,這些品牌在這個社會中是一種盔甲,裝飾自己所想要的尊敬,用品牌金錢分出貴賤,貴族制度並沒有在現代社會中消失,反而存在於另一種形式-瘋狂的金錢!
Many different luxury brands surround the gold leaf. The two sides of the black border have the dragon scale pattern, this is symbolic of armor in today's society, to decorate yourself in the way you want people to admire and respect you. The wealth separates people into different levels, then we realize the Aristocratic system still exists, they just changed to another form- "Madness of Money".

底層的多數人幻想著有天也能有金字塔頂端的生活,電影、廣告、音樂推廣著這樣的美麗生活。糜爛的美麗。外在鍍著金箔掩蓋著許多不為人知的秘密,透過那被大品牌撕裂的傷痕,穿透那一針一線也許你也會看見背後空洞而虛偽,但...也許這也是一種美,不是嗎?
On the bottom are the majority of people that can only dream about one day being at the top of the pyramid. The movies, advertisements, and music all promoting this kind beautiful life. The decadence of beauty. The external covered with gold , with many secrets hidden behind. You can see through from the scars ripped by the big brands, then you might notice the emptiness  and the hypocritical, but....maybe that is another kind of beauty, isn't it?

這件作品是表達出一個現實的狀況,一個我所身處社會中
This is a work that tells a sobering story about the society we live in.

3. God Money- Beauty of Death 死亡的美麗
Mixed media on canvas

可以用滑鼠點下面圖像看其他細作品細節:You can click the pictures below to view other details

我深信當你面對死亡才能真正地活著。
Only when you face death , is when you can fully live.
因為我們終將死亡是一個必然性的,如何準備死亡則是這件藝術作品的核心---我選擇不顧一切的慶祝即將到來的這一切!
這件作品中是充滿了玩味的趣味。用骷髏代表死亡,但是顏色是如此充滿了活力和希望。用另一種角度看待死亡。
We all will die one day, that is inevitable. How to prepare for death is the main idea of "Beauty of Death"-I want to celebrate all the things that will come to me regardless of all the dangers.
所有的骷髏像是在空中跳舞和飛揚,噴漆的色彩像是在金色空中散發出的光芒,像是一個慶典。
All the skulls are dancing and flying in the air, the color of the spray paint like the glowing color in the gold sky, is a ceremony, not unlike a party of transformation

當我2015年在台灣開了第二次的巧克力囊腫刀時,醫生說是否要檢驗可疑的囊腫是否為惡性?我選擇不要。因為我不想要帶著懼怕活著,當時我對自己說, 不論是好還是壞,不論我生命剩下多少時間,我都應該要好好的去活。因此我願意付出一切去追尋我所想要的創造生活。
In 2015 I had my second surgery for a chocolate cyst. The doctor asked me if I wanted to test the tumor? I chose not to because I don't want to carry  fear with me. I told myself, it doesn't matter whether it is good or bad, no matter how long I can live, I have to start to create the life I always want to have.

原本的悲傷卻轉換成了慶典,因我選擇慶祝著即將來到的喪禮,我選擇在這炙熱的火焰中跳舞。
The sorrow I felt was transformed into a festival where I choose to celebrate the funeral that will come soon in the future. I chose to dance in the fiery flames.
中間的大顆骷髏我用彩色的線交織著連結眼、鼻和口。他帶著微微憂鬱向下的眼神,但是還是堅強的笑看這一切。鼻子中是一個彩色男性的陰莖的圖像,當一個生命的結束又是一個生命的開始,精子撞擊卵子後死亡而創造了新的生命,一個源源不絕的永生的概念。像是所有的線連結著這整個宇宙,沒有什麼是真正的死亡,沒有結束也沒有開始,一切都是個過程,一切是為了成為那橋樑連到下一個代、下一個未知的世界。準備好這一個軀體的死亡,學著在這火焰中跳舞到倒地的那一刻。然後回歸到這宇宙中下一個循環。
The middle of the skull I sewed with colorful thread, connecting with the eyes, nose and mouth. He(She) has melancholy eyes, but still is strong enough to face all the things that will happen in front of him(her). A colorful penis on the nose, is present to show that  the end of  life is the beginning of a new life, like sperms and eggs ram into each other then create a new life. like all the thread on the canvas connect to each other to the whole universe, nothing really dies, there is no beginning nor ending . All of this is a process, all become a bridge to the next generation, next unknown world. Preparing for death in this life, we learn to dance around the fire until we fall to the ground, then forward to the next cycle in the universe.